Madame Web, starring Dakota Johnson as Cassie Webb, is going to go down as one of the ultimate punchline films, not unlikeBattleship. With weak writing, spotty acting, and an unnecessary table dancing scene just because Sydney Sweeney is on the cast list, it’s not Marvel’s Golden Hour. It’s more shrouded in darkness, blandness, spider-webs… and references to Spider-Man himself. After all, he’s a character in the film the whole time, even if he’s never on screen.
Madame Web
Time will tell ifSony’s Spider-Man Universe continues after 2024. There’s little doubt its other two films of thecalendar year,Kraven the HunterandVenom: The Last Dance, will perform better critically and commercially. But, when the bar is setsolow, that’s not exactly difficult. That said, it feels safe to assume the SSU won’t be rushing to bringback any ofMadame Web’s characters, including none other than Peter Parker’s mother (played by Emma Roberts).
References like that feel a little too shoehorned intoMadame Webto work, but that’s not to say it’s the worst comic adaptation of all time… even if it’s right down there. What follows are the things thatMadame Web, arguably, does well.
8A Female Director Was Hired
It’s a good thing director S. J. Clarkson has had a long and respectable career in television, because otherwise,Madame Webmight be a career killer. It isn’t her first career setback, so here’s hoping she bounces back from this the way she did fromBloodmoon, an HBO prequel series toGame of Thronesshe co-created and was to executive produce. Or, rather, aGame of Thronesprequel series starring Naomi Watts that was shelved indefinitely nearly five years ago.
After getting her start with the British soap operaDoctors, Clarkson worked on other British series such asFootballers' Wives,Bad Girls, andLife on Mars. Then, in 2009, she broke into American television via the one-two punch ofHeroesandDexter. She followed those up with an episode ofUgly Betty, an episode ofHouse, two episodes ofBanshee, and an episode ofOrange Is the New Black. Then, in 2015, she showed she could turn out solid superhero entertainment via two episodes ofJessica Jones.
7It Didn’t Cost $200 Million
When the lead star of a film doesn’t seem to be inany rush to actually watch the thing, it doesn’t bode well for potential widespread audience reception. That said, from the very beginning, there was less potential for financial devastation over comparable films of the superhero subgenre. For instance,Madame’s $80 million production cost was exactly half ofSpider-Man: Far From Home.
Madame Web Still Wasn’t Cheap
Of course, that was also a bigger film, and there are also contract renegotiations to consider. Yet, even still,Madame Web’s $80 million budget (andMorbius' $75 million, for that matter) reduced their financial exposure. Compare the budget-to-gross disparity betweenMadame Weband the $270 millionThe Marvelsor the $220 millionThe Flash,and the former’s performance doesn’t looksopoor.
6It Made Morbius Look a Little Better
As it stands, bothMadame WebandMorbiusare two of the most widely-bashed comic adaptations of all time. In other words, were it not forVenomandVenom: Let There Be Carnage, Sony’s attempt at a shared Spidey universe would be dead and coated in cobwebs already. So, regardless of which film the viewer begrudgingly prefers, at least Dr. Morbius doesn’t need to feel so alone now.
Both Are Fairly Soulless. Which One More So?
Given all the references to well-established lore inMadame Web(for instance, a quasi-mention of the whole Power & Responsibility motto), it definitely seems like the one trying harder to be relevant. But, what isMorbius. An attempt to entertain? It’s too visually dark and tonally grim for that…but at least that grim nature gives it more personality thanMadame Web.StreamMorbiuson Disney+.
Biochemist Michael Morbius tries to cure himself of a rare blood disease, but he inadvertently infects himself with a form of vampirism instead. Starring Jared Leto and Michael Keaton.
RELATED:Sydney Sweeney Reveals Who Could Entice Her Return to the Spider-Verse After Madame Web
5It Was the Bridge Sydney Sweeney Needed to Enter the Studio System
Euphoriacertainly put Sydney Sweeney on the pop-cultural map. But, starting with late 2023’sAnyone But You, she’s successfully gone from a supporting television star to a theatrical film leading lady. Not too long afterMadame Webhad mostly disappeared from theaters, Sweeney was open about how it was more of a business move than any sort of surplus of confidence in the script (viaBuzzFeed News).
How Is That Going?
While this particular Sony film hasn’t done well, it still established a relationship between the two.Madame Webbegan shooting in June 2022, whereasAnyone But You(another Sony film which was, of course, released first) began filming in February 2023. So, in other words,Madame Webwas the bridge not only to get Sweeney into a mutually beneficial relationship with Sony, but it was the first step into crafting one of the more financially successful romantic comedies in recent years.
RELATED:Dakota Johnson’s Madame Web Press Tour Behavior Reportedly Upset Sony
4The Likable Cast (Including Adam Scott)
Read Our Review
The casting department ofMadame Webdid a solid job accumulating talent for their project. But, the sad thing is that the script doesn’t give stars such as Johnson, Sweeney, Roberts, Celeste O’Connor, and Isabela Merced anything of interest to do. For instance, the three young Spider-Women hear a directive from Madame Web, ignore it, get in trouble with Fake-Spidey, and that’s it. Wash, rinse, repeat.
On top of that,Adam Scottis one of the most likable performers in the industry. There’s a reason he hasn’t played a villain in years. Technically, two reasons,Party DownandParks and Recreation. Both of those projects were very funny, and had Scott playing very different characters. But there’s a throughline, and it’s that Scott is a calming and welcome presence, which holds true inMadame Webeven if he’s given precious little of interest to do.
What Is Scott’s Role?
As mentioned,Madame Webmakes a ton of references to Spider-Man lore. This includes Scott’s character. He plays Ben Parker, who will one day be called ‘Uncle Ben’ by his nephew, Peter. For now, though, he’s Cassie’s paramedic partner…and Marisa Tomei is nowhere in sight. That said, he’s also a little too focused on work and his pregnant sister right now to delve into romance.
3Kerry Bishé’s Performance
Yes, even with Adam Scott and Isabela Merced on the cast list, the most proficient experience comes from another performer. That would beHappily’s (a very underrated film)Kerry Bishé, who plays the ill-fated mother to the title character. Even with just a handful of scenes, Bishé manages to elevate the film from being entirely stilted. In fact, she’s outright great in her role.
What Makes Bishé the Best Part of the Movie?
Bishé is essentially relegated to the opening scene and a flashback midway through. The first scene is rather perfunctory, existing more to establish the villain’s presence (Though his motive is a bit more of a question. It’s basically just: Accrue power). The flashback scene, which features Bishé’s character, Constance Webb, in a doctor’s office, is a revolution to both the audience and Cassie.
Because, now, she’s learned that her mother didn’t travel overseasjustto study spiders (Cassie’s presumption is that her mother was more interested in spiders than her forthcoming progeny)… she traveled overseas to find a cure for Cassie’s muscular disorder. And, because her mother made that choice prior to Cassie’s birth, the latter has never felt the disorder’s effects.
2Cassie’s Maternal Nature Intermittently Carries Weight
Johnson (quite understandably) doesn’t seem likeshe’s fully confident in the material. But she does nail some of the film’s smaller moments. In other words, Johnson can play frustrated quite well. AndMadame Weboften has Cassie frustrated as can be.
There Is a Slight Amount of Heart
For instance, her telling the three spider-girls not to bicker or anything similar. Fortunately, those scenes convey some heart. Unfortunately, there are so many of them, the viewer is forced to judge the characters' intelligence.
1At Least the Villain’s Suit Looks Okay
Not even a rip-off Spidey could saveMadame Webfrom being thelowest-grossing entry in the Sony Spider-Man franchise. In fact, Tahar Rahim’s Ezekiel Sims is probably the film’s main problem, both in terms of how he’s written and how he’s portrayed. And, while not technically relevant to Rahim’s performance, his ADR is quite possibly the worst in blockbuster cinema history. He sounds like he’s on another planet.
What’s the Upside, Again?
The one and only neat thing about Sims is his black and red suit. That said, it’s amazing he could get so close to Spidey’s eventual suit design, considering Peter Parker had yet to draw breath. Not to mention, it’s pretty darn coincidental he also got his wall-crawling powers from a spider bite. Still, in a few shots of the film, the suit looks suitably intimidating and memorable.
